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10 Most Exaggerated Tech Terms

November 18th, 2010 elifemagz Leave a comment Go to comments

CIO – So sufficient in the high-tech world that should be factually airtight-as in: it’s possibly 4G speed or it’s not-is, instead, always up for marketing’s misappropriation, your CEO’s hyperbolic elaboration or a sales rep’s fact bending.

In other words, the loyal meaning for a few technologies or services is that it depends on who you are conversing to.

Here are my 10 preferred (and many frustrating) tech conditions that have been altered, warped and massaged by a few of today’s heading tech vendors.

1. Cloud Computing: If there’s an Internet connection someway involved, then it’s unquestionably in the “cloud.” Right? Wrong! (And, for what it’s worth, attaching “Cloud-Based” to something is even sketchier!)

2. 4G Speeds: Hmmm, the malleability of 4G is suggestive to when the “broadband” tag was practical to dial-up “up to” speeds. C’mon wireless carriers, you aren’t revelation the fact !

3. Leading Vendor: If by “leading vendor” you meant a “seven-person staff, with 5 customers (one of whom is your uncle) and a recklessness to be acquired really, unequivocally soon,” then we theory all the startups obviously have every correct to use the selling slogan.

4. Online Security: Right now, there’s a man in Estonia sneering at your “security solution.” Hey, may be we’ll put together this next decade?

5. Valued Partner: Except when that associate decides not to replenish its chartering agreements, and then the businessman treats that valued associate the way Michael Corleone treated with colour his valued hermit Fredo.

6. Don’t Be Evil: How ’bout only a teensy, weensy bit immorality when we feel similar to it, since we have great intentions?

7. Facebook Privacy: FB’s privacy policies (automatic opt-in!) appear to change as frequently as Zuckerberg’s T-shirts.

8. Thought Leader: If you’ve ever had a decent think (or perhaps even two or 3 insights) that you Tweeted or common on Facebook, that does not make you a think personality (or guru or influencer or expert).

9. Generally Available: If a vendor’s product is still having its “tires kicked” by a “select set of customers” (otherwise well known as beta testers) and has got more bugs than The Roach Motel, then it’s not shut to GA, folks.

10. Robust Solution: we only threw up in my mouth.

[ For more skewering of the tech world, see CIO.com's take on Gartner's Hype Cycle and Forrester's Wave Chart . ]

Thomas Wailgum covers Enterprise Software, Data Management and Personal Productivity Apps for CIO.com. Follow him on Twitter @twailgum . Follow all from CIO.com on Twitter @CIOonline . E-mail Thomas at twailgum@cio.com.

2010 CXO Media Inc.